A Message to Adult Children (And the Parents They Love)
We hear you. You are concerned about your parents. They are elderly, and you feel that they need extra help but they see things differently. You worry daily. Perhaps you feel overwhelmed, guilty or sad. You just want your parents safe and happy, and are unsure of what to do.
Here are some thoughts to consider.
1. Recognize that your parents are highly accomplished people. Consider how they’ve succeeded in life. Whether their accomplishments are related to work, military, social or personal, we need to respect and admire their capabilities. So, any discussion about their lives and future needs to be based in respect. You cannot “place” your parents anywhere, including a retirement community. You may, however, be able to help them decide to do this on their own.
2. Realize from your own life that independence and control are basic human needs. Your parents have the need for independence and control even as they age.
3. Conversations with Mother and Dad are more productive if you place your own feelings (worry, sadness, guilt), on the back burner. These are your problems, not theirs.
4. Ask for your parents’ permission to discuss their future in a logical, non-threatening manner.
5. Appeal to their willingness to plan for the future. They may not accept change right now, but may agree to make a move at a future date, such as a new year, after a holiday, or a birthday milestone. Or, they may consider a move in the future if other strategies fail. Other strategies may include a home safety assessment by an occupational therapist, or hiring home-based care.
If you would like to speak with someone about this retirement community PA, give us a call at 800 642-2217.